Between Scrubs and Family: A Doctor’s Pandemic Story of Survival and Strength

When the COVID-19 pandemic first surged across the globe, no one was truly prepared for the scale of devastation it would unleash. The world quickly pivoted, trying to protect itself from the invisible enemy. Healthcare workers were thrust into an unprecedented battle, one that would test not only their professional expertise but their emotional and physical endurance. For Dr. Erin Coakley, a mother, a doctor, and a frontline worker, the pandemic became both a personal and professional crucible—an experience that forever reshaped her perspective on healthcare, family, and humanity.

Dr. Coakley’s Heartbeats and Homecomings: A Doctor’s Pandemic Experience offers an intimate look at her journey through the chaos of COVID-19. This deeply personal account not only chronicles the challenges of treating the sick and dying but also reflects on the toll it took on her own family life. 

The Early Days – When the World Changed Overnight

In late 2019, whispers of a new virus began circulating in the medical community. What seemed like an isolated outbreak soon morphed into a global pandemic, and by the early months of 2020, the world found itself facing a public health crisis unlike anything seen in modern history.

For Dr. Coakley, like many others in the medical field, the early warnings came with a mixture of skepticism and disbelief. She was used to dealing with medical emergencies, but the sheer magnitude of COVID-19 was something that no one could have anticipated. “We were given very little information,” she recalls. “We were constantly adjusting to new protocols, new information. It felt like we were in a race against time, with the odds stacked against us.”

Dr. Coakley recounts the eerie sense of uncertainty during those first few weeks. Hospitals scrambled to prepare for an influx of patients. Masks became scarce. Testing supplies dwindled. Yet, the most overwhelming challenge wasn’t just the shortage of medical supplies—it was the emotional toll that quickly became evident. “We were scared. Scared for ourselves, scared for our families, scared for our patients,” she says. “But as doctors, we didn’t have the luxury of fear. We had to push it aside, because people’s lives depended on us.”

Survival at the Frontlines

As cases surged, hospitals reached full capacity. Dr. Coakley’s daily routine shifted drastically. The typical 12-hour shifts turned into marathon days of relentless pressure. COVID-19 patients filled the ICU, and the virus’s rapid spread meant that doctors, nurses, and support staff were constantly at risk of being overwhelmed—physically, mentally, and emotionally.

“What people don’t often see is the humanity behind the scrubs,” Dr. Coakley explains. “Yes, we’re doctors and nurses. Yes, we have training. But we’re human too. We can’t just compartmentalize the emotions that come with losing a patient or seeing a family suffer. That’s a weight that never truly leaves.”

The early days of the pandemic brought constant grief. Dr. Coakley faced the heartbreaking reality of seeing patients pass away—sometimes without their families by their side. With strict hospital protocols in place to limit exposure, many patients had to face death alone. It was a gut-wrenching experience that changed the way Dr. Coakley saw both her patients and herself.

“I remember one day, an elderly woman was admitted with severe COVID symptoms,” Dr. Coakley recalls. “She couldn’t breathe, and we were doing everything we could, but the virus was just too strong. Her family couldn’t come in to see her, and as I held her hand, I realized that I was the last person she would see. It’s a responsibility that weighs heavy on you.”

But even in the darkest moments, there were small moments of light. Dr. Coakley describes the powerful sense of community among healthcare workers, as they leaned on each other for support and strength. “The teamwork in the hospital was incredible. We all had one goal: to save lives. We didn’t have time to dwell on our own fears or exhaustion. We had to be strong, for each other and for the patients.”

Balancing Scrubs and Family – A Personal Struggle

While the pandemic demanded every ounce of Dr. Coakley’s professional energy, it also pulled her away from her personal life. As a mother of two young children, the challenge of balancing her demanding work and home life became an everyday struggle.

In the early days of the pandemic, Dr. Coakley had to make the difficult decision to isolate herself from her family to protect them from potential exposure. This meant that she spent days, sometimes weeks, living apart from her husband and children, communicating through video calls and text messages, and experiencing a sense of disconnect that only deepened as the crisis wore on.

“I would come home after a 16-hour shift, exhausted and emotionally drained, and I couldn’t even hug my kids. I couldn’t kiss my husband. It was like living two separate lives,” Dr. Coakley reflects. “I had to remind myself that it was temporary, but that didn’t make it any easier.”

But the struggle didn’t end with physical separation. The emotional toll was just as severe. Dr. Coakley was faced with guilt—guilt that she couldn’t be there for her family in the way she wanted to be, and guilt that she couldn’t give her all to her patients when she felt like she had nothing left to give.

“The hardest part of being a frontline worker is knowing that you’re doing your best, but feeling like you’re failing on both fronts—at work and at home,” she admits. “You give everything to your patients, but you feel like you’re not giving enough to your family. It’s an emotional conflict that never really goes away.”

(Heartbeats and Homecomings: A Doctor’s Pandemic Experience by Dr. Erin Coakley)

Empathy and Resilience – The Core of the Pandemic Experience

Amid the exhaustion, isolation, and fear, one thing kept Dr. Coakley going: empathy. For her, it was not just a professional quality; it was a lifeline. “Empathy is what connects us to our patients, but also to ourselves and to each other,” Dr. Coakley explains. “During the pandemic, empathy became the thread that held us together. It was what kept me grounded, what kept me connected to my family, even when I couldn’t physically be with them.”

Her ability to empathize with patients was a key part of her resilience. She drew strength from the stories of those who fought the virus, and from the way people rallied together, even in the face of overwhelming loss. “Resilience isn’t just about pushing through the hard moments—it’s about finding strength in the small victories. It’s about holding on to hope, even when it feels like hope is gone,” she says.

As the months wore on, Dr. Coakley began to see a shift. Medical innovations, the tireless efforts of healthcare workers, and the solidarity of the global community began to make a difference. The toll of the pandemic was still present, but there was a renewed sense of optimism.

Lessons Learned – Strength Through Adversity

Dr. Coakley’s journey through the pandemic has taught her many things. Above all, she’s learned the importance of human connection, the strength of community, and the power of empathy in times of crisis. Her personal story is a testament to the resilience of healthcare workers, the love of family, and the courage it takes to show up every day, despite the odds.

“The pandemic wasn’t just a professional challenge. It was a personal one,” Dr. Coakley reflects. “But through it all, I realized that survival isn’t just about getting through. It’s about finding ways to thrive, even in the hardest moments. It’s about knowing that there’s always light, even in the darkest of times.”

As the world continues to recover from the pandemic, Dr. Coakley’s story stands as a powerful reminder of the strength, empathy, and resilience that have carried us through these turbulent times. Her journey—a journey marked by both sacrifice and strength—reminds us all of the vital role healthcare workers play, and of the deep love and unwavering support that keeps families together, even when they’re physically apart.

Dr. Coakley’s book, Heartbeats and Homecomings, is a tribute to the enduring human spirit, and a call to remember the importance of both personal and professional connection in a world forever changed by crisis.