Lilly Jay Opens Up About the Public Downfall of Her Marriage to Ethan Slater Amid His Romance with Ariana Grande

In a heartfelt essay, Lilly Jay reflects on her journey through divorce, co-parenting, and the challenges of public scrutiny following Ethan Slater’s relationship with Ariana Grande.

Lilly Jay is addressing the emotional toll of her marriage’s sudden public unraveling in a deeply personal essay, shedding light on the challenges she faced after her husband, Ethan Slater, began a relationship with his Wicked co-star Ariana Grande.

Jay, a clinical psychologist specializing in perinatal mental health and child development, penned the essay for The Cut, describing her shock at the breakdown of her marriage to Slater, a Tony-nominated actor known for his role in SpongeBob SquarePants on Broadway. The couple, who had been together since high school, married in 2018 and welcomed their son in 2022. However, in 2023, Slater filed for divorce amidst reports that he and Grande had begun a romantic relationship while filming Wicked together.

“I never thought I would get divorced,” Jay admits in her essay. “Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband’s new relationship with a celebrity.” Her words reflect the deep emotional turmoil of a woman unexpectedly thrust into the public eye while navigating the end of her marriage.

In the essay, Jay does not harbor animosity toward Grande or Slater but instead focuses on the painful reality of her situation. “I have come to believe that in the absence of the life I planned with my high-school sweetheart, a lifetime of sweetness is waiting for me and my child,” she writes. Despite the heartbreak, she expresses hope for the future, particularly in her co-parenting relationship with Slater. “While our partnership has changed, our parenthood has not,” Jay emphasizes. “Both of us fiercely love our son 100 percent of the time, regardless of how our parenting time is divided.”

While she celebrates the joy of spending time with her son, Jay confesses the difficulties of seeing her personal life play out in the public arena. “Days with my son are sunny,” she writes. “But days when I can’t escape the promotion of a movie associated with the saddest days of my life are darker.” The Wicked movie, now linked to her painful divorce, continues to be a reminder of the emotional struggle she faces.

Jay’s essay also delves into how her personal and professional lives intersect. As a therapist, Jay had always kept her personal life separate from her work, but now, with her private experiences thrust into the limelight, she feels exposed in ways that challenge her professional identity. “I was never meant to be fully known to them,” she reflects, referring to her patients. “But now, I’m publicly known for something I never chose.”

The intense public attention has forced Jay to confront a reality she never anticipated. “As someone who spent years researching how people respond to ambiguity,” she shares, “I hate not knowing if the way my story has been told has impacted my opportunity to help others sort through their stories.” Despite these challenges, she remains resolute in finding purpose in her situation. “The publicity I did not consent to increasingly feels like both a challenge and an opportunity,” Jay states, viewing her journey through turmoil as a potential point of connection with others.

As the story of Ethan Slater, Lilly Jay, and Ariana Grande continues to unfold, Jay’s perspective offers a deeply human look at the complexities of love, heartbreak, and the realities of co-parenting under the public’s gaze. Through the pain of her divorce, she remains focused on providing her son with a loving and supportive environment, while also striving to find a path forward that allows her to continue helping others as a therapist.

The essay reflects the personal strength and resilience of a woman navigating one of the most challenging periods of her life, offering hope and understanding to those facing similar struggles.